It was a typical night in a typical house with a typical family. Dad was in his workshed building a nice endtable, mom was on the couch knitting him a winter sweater and the daughter was sitting at the desk meticulously doing her homework. (OK, this is America, who are we kidding? They were all sitting on their fat asses watching tv - Mom and dad in the frontroom and the kid in the bedroom.) Anyway . . .
Mom and dad are discussing amongst themselves what the child might possibly be doing as she seemed to be remarkably silent when a muffled sound from the deepest darkest recesses of the house meandered it's way down the hall . . . thump kthud bump bump, thump kthud bump bump. A pause and a glance passes between them. Thump kthud bump bump, thump kthud bump bump resounds again faintly from the hall. What the hell is that noise? Whatever it is, it means said child is probably going to be in trouble. Silently the parents sneak down the hall to the bedroom door where they listen carefuly -- THUMP KTHUD BUMP BUMP, THUMP KTHUD BUMP-- . . . a breathless silence . . has the child heard them? Perhaps the parents were not so silent as they thought . . .
THUMP KTHUD BUMP BUMP, THUMP KTHUD BUMP BUMP the now familiar sound of a ball bouncing in the house comes again from behind the bedroom door. Ever so slowly, ever so silently the door handle is turned . . . a last conspiratory glance amongst the parents . . . and . . .
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
The parents fling open the door and bolt into the room screaming loudly and waiving their arms at the child. It's a shame, really, that a camera wasn't rolling because words could never do justice to what happened next. The guilty child jumped up and back a step, startled, eyes wide, hands up in fright, mouth open . . . but, alas, no sound came from her lips . . . the seconds ticked away at an alarmingly slow speed . . . 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . only the eyes registered the terror which the brain could not process quickly enough. Finally, though, it came . . . a terrified scream at least 5 seconds after the brain recognized it was not some insane murderer, just two insane parents who were now on the floor in convulsions. A scolding scream of "MOMMIE!" could scarce be heard over the laughter.
Yes, it was a beautiful sight. Surprisingly, she did not pee her pants. She has, however, not bounced the ball in the house ever since. ;-)
1 comment:
This story brings me back when I was a bit-of-a-trouble kid (contrary to my fond recollections of myself as a saint).
One time as a pre-teen I was noticing that when I stood in front of a mirror with a large rubber band about my head (same color as my hair) it would work its way up slowly raising my hair up in an eriee way...as it was standing up on its own...
So this was too good to pass up...I ran into my parents bedroom...and with a look of terror on my face...said, " I...am...possessed by...the...DEVIL "
As my hair bgan to stand straight up on its own, my parents both totally freaked out.
It took me quite a while to calm them down; it was one of those very rare times I went to bed without supper.
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